November 26, 2011

  •  No way to prove my Facebook friends are real people
  •  Woolly mammoth who never gets his wool  and the others make fun of him until the earth heats and they die off before he does
  • The dance floor that isn’t the dance floor because it doesn’t exist
  •  A hair resistant hat
  • Mining the local lake for history books and garden clubs
  • A kid who played “why are you hitting yourself?” too much and now can’t control his right arm, which often randomly hits him
  • Eyes that smile, lips that blink
  • Roads that move, not cars
  • Oxygen candy – Like plaque candy but turns CO2 red when you expel it instead of your plaque
  • People who actually are as beautiful on the outside as they are on the inside
  • Purposely drinking too much not to be drunk but rather for the clarity that comes the next morning

November 28, 2011

  • Actually turning into what you eat the most:  A vegan who turns into an organic banana, etc.
  • Self replicating ice cream sandwiches

 November 29, 2011

  • Since increased blood flow = increased brain functioning, if I cut off my legs would it make me smarter?

November 30, 2011

  • If reality always lived up to fantasy we’d all be miserable