Babies. Tiny humans. We’ve all been one and we’re all only here because we were allowed to be one, a parasite.
It is possible that this post will be controversial to some but I take solace in the fact that no one reads these anyway, (even most of my friends who say they do – you know website stats are a thing, right?) and even if they did who cares about the opinion of some nobody on the Internet? Oh, right, millions of people for some sad and lonely reason. For those of you who were have never known a world without the Internet, trust me, in many ways it was a much better, happier, place.
But back to babies. Children. I have never had any desire to have children. I enjoy being an uncle and playing with other people’s children, but also enjoy giving them back. Perhaps this is because I’m still a child myself and haven’t grown up enough yet, or perhaps because I’ve seen numerous people have kids who shouldn’t have, causing the kids themselves to suffer greatly, or perhaps because it could be seen as a pure act of ego, the creation of a mini-me, or perhaps because it seems completely unnecessary to add to overpopulation and the depletion of resources (the world clearly needs many, many things, but is more humans one of them?), or perhaps it is because there are some 122,000 kids in the United States alone living in the foster care system desperate for homes, waiting to be adopted. Maybe it is all of these things, or none of them. I don’t know anymore. After studying my own mind for the last several years of the pandemic, I realize that there is very little in there that I can trust to be 100% accurate.
Might I change my mind someday and want children? Perhaps, who knows? Am I glad that my parents focused on me as a child rather than giving more attention to their old friends? Of course. Have I felt abandoned and neglected by a number of my friends after they have had children, whether that is in any way shape or form fair of me to do so? Yes, absolutely. (To be fair some friends have been great). Just as the single friend often gets excluded by couples, the childless friend, even if part of a couple, is often excluded from the life of friends with children. Perhaps that is the way of things and as it should be, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling left out in the cold and abandoned by people who I have been extremely close with, some for many years or even decades.
What is the point of all of this? Well, it was simply the next logical step in this series that I’m doing to look at how I’ve lost friends over the years. People look at you differently when you don’t have kids, especially when you do it as a conscious choice. They often label you selfish for not having kids, when it can easily be seen as being selfish to have kids, especially in a world with so many kids already desperate for homes. (Kids waiting for adoption remain in foster care and average of four years. Four years. Let that sink in.) I don’t see how it’s any different from the idea of deciding to adopt a rescued cat or dog over a purebred animal. I have only ever had and will only ever have rescue animals. (And I post this post knowing full well that if I ever get to be famous for any reason and have a child or a purebred animal, someone will find this post, dredge it up, and try to destroy me with it, because that is what we have become as a society. We can’t even talk about things in any sort of civilized manner or debate them, we just yell and try to destroy the people who disagree with us. This is an angry, angry nation and it makes me incredibly sad. Now who has a cute child that I can play with to make me feel better?)