I do not know how other people sleep through the night, I never have. Sleep has always been a terror in my life, and only gotten worse as I’ve grown older, as the scary things of the world went from monsters in the closet to the endless series of horrors that humans inflict upon one another, both intentionally and unintentionally.

The study of history does little to create belief in the goodness of humanity. “Have some humanity,” they say, as if that were a positive thing. Endless horrors we commit, increasing based on the level of emptiness inside a person, and Americans seem to be the emptiest of all, our chests and guts hollowed out while our massive homes and cars fill with more and more garbage, further distracting us and making the rich ever richer (and more hollow than ever).

Once you’ve seen the madness clearly it cannot be unseen and how are we to survive? It has always been this way, only technology has made it easier for them to control and harder for us to escape. It is now nearly impossible to not take part in the madness they’ve created, this world that no deep thinking human would ever have drempt up, let alone willed into existence. I can’t fight them anymore without damaging myself further, I must live for me, to survive, to add what few drops of positivity, love, and creation I can, even while everything else burns around me.

They don’t matter and their actions don’t matter, only what I do matters, not endlessly reacting to them, but living for me, living for us all, for humanity, to keep that word infused with meaning, with hope, with the belief – the knowledge – that ALL of us have the ability to be good, do good, transcend whatever surrounds us and rise above it to make this world a better place, to give our lives meaning, to give us all meaning.

Stop fighting and start living, for living is an awfully great adventure and an awfully great way to hold up two middle fingers to those who desperately seek to control you for their own monetary and egotistical benefit. Start now.

-July 4, 2025